Day 17

 UGH.....I hate looking at these pics and its embarrassing....but the truth is....this is me....no hiding....but I can say that I'm working on it and that's what counts right now.  I hate how I carry most of my weight around the belly area.  The truth is, I don't carry alot IN my belly, it goes around to my sides and I call it, "my tire", cause it just goes all the way to the backside.

So here's the deal.....when I was at work last night I started my monthly....I TOTALLY wasn't expecting it, but the more I thought about it, it made sense.  I usually always have PMS symptoms for a whole week with numerous things, but this time, I had like a few for only like maybe.....48 hours the most.  I know I said in the previous post about me starting to be in a rut, when really it was the monthly.  It made sense to why I didn't want to work out, because my body was tired from it, and also why I was craving all bad foods....because its all from the monthly.  I was actually 6 days early, so that's why it threw me off too.

Yesterday morning I had chocolate milk, which I never have, nor do I ever want, which makes sense because its chocolate, and I always crave chocolate before I start.  Last night I didn't have dinner, but I did eat the peach pie, which is sweet (monthly) in the freezer and beat myself up for eating it....not really in high calories, but ALOT of salt.  I didn't workout yesterday either because I was tired and crampy and wanted to just rest since I was opening the store the next day.  I know during this time, I need to eat the foods I crave because it doesn't last.  I'm not going to go pig out or stop my diet or just eat junk food, but if I want something sweet or chocolate, I'm going to do it.

I'm still struggling with eating all the time....I'm leaving out a meal all the time and even in between is hard.  I made myself today at work eat a yogurt and I wanted to throw up.  I'm just not an eater and its aggravating.

So I'm hoping, fingers crossed, that a part of my weighing in the day before was part of some water weight that I always get before and during it all.  Who knows....a girl can hope...until then, I literally almost fell asleep just now with my head on the desk, then someone messaged me and it dinged and then I had my hand on my phone and it vibrated so I need to finish and lay down....but I guess we will see the weight next Wednesday!

Oh and these pictures are of me VERY BLOATED....like I was miserable and had spanx on last night at work and still was pooching out there....